First Blog

Let me begin from from the beginning. One lazy afternoon, Sayanda n I were talking. After a very long discussion ( which I dont remember all too clearly) we had both decided to write a testimonial and a blog. I wrote a testimonial for Sayanda, he wrote a blog. After 2 yrs, Im finally sitting down to fulfill that promise.

My friend Pig, who happens to be fantastic with words, wrote abt marriage in her blog. N that got me thinking. She said that marriage is a checkpoint in our list of "to Do"s. The list starts from school, college, job and then comes to marriage.

Wats my take on this? Im confused. Nothing unusual abt that. I mean, I cant even decide on one name for this blog ( does this really have to do with my zodiac sign being Libra).

One part of me rejects marriage as an archaic concept. The whole idea of the girl leaving her home and changing her surname is not something i can accept easily. But these are the external manifestations of a far deeper issue. It's the expectation that a girl will change her personality and identity when she gets married. I dont want to make a sweeping generalisation that all guys are mean and will crush a girls spirit. However, it cant be denied that its a huge gamble.

At the same time, marriage is something which is inevitable. And I might as well enjoy the entire process rather than sulk and crib. Marriage is a concrete thing and brings a sense of order into our life. It is something which human beings have evolved. This institution has been around for ages. If it was defunct, it wud have been scrapped long time back. It has withstood the test of time. And strangely, each civilization, even in ancient times had developed this idea. So there must be some good in it.

Wats my expectation from marriage? A quick look into my life and I see that I lack nothing. Nothing which can be fulfilled by getting married. I have a wonderful family, a great set of friends, I am financially independent, I can take care of myself. So I am definitely not looking for any kind of support. Personally, I think this is a good state to be in. Two people shud marry when they are comfortable with their own selves. There must not be a clingy element. I wud not like someone to ever say that their life is useless without me.

Some time back, I read a book in which one lady tells her daughter, "There is no Love, all that is there is good manners". I wont vouch for this statement except in very cynical mood. But it is a very practical view of the world. Another statement in that same book said " You dont contemplate abt life. Just climb on the beast and ride it". My very whimsical nature agrees with that wholeheartedly.